Japan's Dangerous Game of Money and Love

Have you ever heard of the job title "Papa Katsu"? At first, the word might sound confusing. Even many people working in offices in Japan don't know what it means. However, as explained by long-time Japan residents like Kawai, once you understand it, you see a whole new world. In Japan, this "profession" has become a huge topic. It is often called a game that is played in the "gray zone" of society.

According to the Japanese magazine Nikkan SPA!, just one major "Papa Katsu" website has 380,000 female members. Some internet users guess that across the whole country, there are nearly 3 million active women. That suggests a shocking number: one out of every ten young girls in Japan might have tried "Papa Katsu."

Why is this happening? Is it just medicine for a loveless marriage? To understand this, we have to look at what "Papa Katsu" really is.

From High School Girls to "Daddies"

The idea of dating for money is not new in Japan. Back in the 1980s, during the "Bubble Economy," a trend called "Enjo-kosai" (compensated dating) appeared. High school and college girls wanted pocket money, so they would go out with older men for karaoke, dinner, or sometimes sleeping together. This was very famous in movies, like the 1998 award-winning film Love & Pop, which showed the lives of high school girls doing this.

By 2010, a new word appeared: "Papa Katsu." In Japan, looking for a job is called "Shu-katsu," and looking for a marriage partner is called "Kon-katsu." So, looking for a "Papa" (a rich dad) became "Papa Katsu."

This is like an upgraded version of the old compensated dating. It is run by "Dating Clubs." These clubs check IDs strictly and promise to keep out minors. They tell young women it is a safe way to find a rich "Dad," and they tell rich men it is an easy way to find a playmate. While people in other countries might call this a "mistress club" and keep it secret, in Japan, these clubs advertise openly. It became so popular that in 2017, a famous writer named Shinji Nojima wrote a TV drama called Papa Katsu starring the actor Atsuro Watabe. In 2018, a reporter named Shingo Sakatsume even wrote a book called The Sociology of Papa Katsu.

The men in these clubs are usually company owners, doctors, or lawyers—people with lots of money. The women are often students from top universities, models, or idols. Together, they make a market of money and beauty.

Is This Legal?

You might wonder, is this legal? Is prostitution allowed in Japan?

Actually, Japan passed a law against prostitution in 1958. After World War II, many women had to sell their bodies to survive because their husbands died in the war and cities were destroyed. The government eventually tried to control this. However, the law has a specific definition: prostitution is sex with an "unspecified" person for money.

This created a loophole. In Japan, sex shops like "Soaplands" claim they only rent out the bathtub, and if sex happens, it is just "free love" between two people. "Papa Katsu" clubs use a similar trick. They say they only introduce people. Because the woman is not sleeping with "lots of random strangers," they argue it is not prostitution. This is a very Japanese way of doing things—everyone knows the truth, but they pretend it is different to follow the rules.

The Expensive Game for Rich Men

So, how does it work? The clubs act like an online shopping site for men. The club takes photos of the women and puts their profiles online. The women cannot see the men's profiles; they have to wait to be chosen. This sounds scary, but the clubs say they check the men's backgrounds.

A typical date starts with dinner at a luxury hotel. Sometimes, the man books a room upstairs. After dinner, the woman decides if she wants to go to the room. No matter what she decides, the man gives her a "thank you gift." This is usually an envelope with 30,000 to 50,000 yen (about $200-$350), but sometimes it is over 100,000 yen.

For the man, this is very expensive. Between the gift, the expensive dinner, the hotel suite, and the club membership fees, one date can cost 200,000 to 300,000 yen. Why pay so much when a professional call girl is cheaper? Because these men want the feeling of "romance." They want to date an "amateur" woman, not a professional. They pay money to enjoy the fantasy that the woman actually likes them. They also want to meet high-class women—beautiful, educated women—who would never work in a normal sex shop. Helping these women makes the men feel powerful.

Tomoko’s Story: Searching for Love

Tomoko, a 45-year-old career elite woman, is a perfect example of the "wealthy amateur." She didn't need the money, but she needed love. Her marriage was happy for ten years, but then the sex stopped. In the 11th year, she had an affair with a man she met in an online game. He called her his "Goddess" and said he loved seeing her happy face. This flipped a switch in her.

"I had forgotten I was a woman," she said. "But seeing him once a month wasn't enough." So, she joined a "Papa Katsu" club. She says her husband never asks what she does. She loves him as family, but their romance is dead. She is confident she won't get caught.

On her first "Papa Katsu" date, they just had lunch. The man gave her a box of Lindt chocolates with 10,000 yen inside. It felt warm and easy. Before this, Tomoko never took money from men because she had principles. But the club changed her. She soon started sleeping with men on the first date because waiting was a waste of time. She viewed the money as a "patience fee" for sleeping with old men, sometimes over 60 years old.

In six months, she made 700,000 yen. But she felt empty. "I realized men are gross," she said. She knew they were seeing other women too. In the end, she realized she still loved her husband the most, but she couldn't go back to how things were.

Why is this Society Sick?

Tomoko’s story shows a woman who is lonely, not poor. But for many others, "Papa Katsu" is about survival. In Japan, there is a big gap between the rich and the poor. After the economy struggled for twenty years, many families lost their middle-class status. It is hard for women to make as much money as men.

Some people say "Papa Katsu" helps keep marriages together by giving men a way to relieve stress and giving women money. But the real victims are often the wives. In Japan, if a woman divorces, she often becomes poor. There are 1.23 million single-mother families in Japan, and more than half of them live in poverty. Because they cannot afford to leave, many wives have to "choose to forgive" their cheating husbands.

The Danger and the Law

This world is not as safe as the TV dramas make it look. Real crimes happen. In October 2022, a 16-year-old girl in Kawasaki led a group of kids to kidnap and rob a man she met through "Papa Katsu." In another case in Ikebukuro, an 82-year-old man was killed by a 24-year-old girl.

It is also legally dangerous. If a man has sex with a girl under 13, it is considered rape, even if she agrees. If the girl is over 13 and money is exchanged, it is a crime called "child prostitution," which can lead to five years in prison or a fine of 3 million yen.

"Papa Katsu" might look like a fancy game for the elite, but underneath, it is a sad reality. It is a scar on society where money wins over humanity, leaving people with wallets full of cash but hearts full of emptiness.

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